


Realisation

by caomoyl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 07:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6505918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caomoyl/pseuds/caomoyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I could never fight. I could never show people the true fighter inside of me. I’ll always be the idiot who can’t do anything. If there was a battle, I would be the first to die. Even though Harry and everyone else tried to help me in Dumbledore’s Army, I still feel like everything that has happened since then makes those days seem like they don’t matter anymore. Ever since then, life has got harder and it seems like, despite how well I was doing, it has all be sucked out of me now; that I couldn’t do any of it, no matter how hard I try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Realisation

Why should we have to take it? How is this possibly fair? After everything that has happened these past few years, you just want everything to be okay again. But it’s not. It’s just getting worse each day. People are dying, disappearing. People you care about, changing because of the way things are. It’s just not right. 

No one thinks I can do anything to help. I ask, they disregard me; call me a loser and say I couldn’t do anything even if I tried. I guess they are right. I’ve never been able to do anything, no matter how hard I try. I can’t even get people to listen to me. Why do I even bother?

I’ve never been worth anything. Gran always said so. She made sure I knew I was nothing like my parents; nowhere near as good as they were. She always said that I needed to buck my ideas up and sort myself out. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve tried; I just don’t know what to do anymore. It seems like nothing works and I just end up wasting my time. But that’s me. I’m always wasting my time, trying to become better. I just fail.

There are very few good things in my life right now. The people I can actually call friends and my parents. Even though my parents don’t know who I am and can barely recognise that anyone is there, they are still some of the only people who don’t push me down. In fact, they always brighten my day. They show me that even the greatest might fall, but it was done for the good of the majority, even if it meant some casualties. They have shown me that no matter how scared you are, you have to face it and fight.

I am nothing like them. I could never fight. I could never show people the true fighter inside of me. I’ll always be the idiot who can’t do anything. If there was a battle, I would be the first to die. Even though Harry and everyone else tried to help me in Dumbledore’s Army, I still feel like everything that has happened since then makes those days seem like they don’t matter anymore. Ever since then, life has got harder and it seems like, despite how well I was doing, it has all be sucked out of me now; that I couldn’t do any of it, no matter how hard I try.

I wish I could be like Luna. She’s just so amazing. No matter what, she’ll accept you and help you. She is an inspiration to everyone. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks about her, she is just herself. If only I could be like that. If only I could show people that I don’t care what they say; that it doesn’t affect me. But it does, that’s the hard and simple truth. Every insult hurts. Unless Luna is there, because one look at her and my heart fills up, I look at her and see a whole new side to life and I forget all the bad things that are going on. One day I want to make her mine. 

Thinking back, people have tried to help, I was just too stupid. I pushed them all away thinking that they were feeling sorry for me. I just have this feeling that they weren’t. I think of Harry, Ron and Hermione, out there fighting for survival, trying to bring down You-Kno… Voldemort all on their own. We are the same age, and if they can do that, then I should at least honour them by helping to fight the fight. I’ll show everyone that I can be the person I want to be.

This is going to be tough, but I know I can do it. Everything I’ve learnt, from teachers and from the DA, are still in me somewhere, I just need to stop wallowing in self-pity and start showing my true colours; start fighting back. Hogwarts shouldn’t be like this, and someone needs to show the students that there is still something worth fighting for. 

I’m going to be the one who helps. The one who stands up. The one who starts what all the others are afraid to start. I’m going to make a difference, even if the only person who notices is Luna. I’m going to make us both proud.


End file.
